A wise man told me (aka Roger the Barber) that he never talks to his customers about politics. This is something that I try to bear in mind when I write my poetry, I try to avoid the subject for two reasons – not everyone agrees with my views (and subsequently I can’t be bothered with the fallout afterwards), and I struggle to find a rhyming word that best describes the ever smiling Jeremy Hunt…

However, every now and then I can’t help but write a little political ditty and it’s usually focused on Brexit. It’s easy pickings if I’m honest.

With Theresa May’s continued determination to get her Brexit Deal through despite countless defeats reminded me a little bit of that nursery rhyme regarding the spider and the drainpipe. My understanding of Incy Wincy and his eternal struggles with a water spout is that it teaches children never to give up. If at first you don’t succeed, try again – both very good lessons in life. What it doesn’t portray though, is that you should probably try something different to attain your goals if the first method fails. I think this is something Mrs May hasn’t fathomed out yet.

Here’s my poetical political take on things (you can figure out your own actions to accompany it)


Incy Wincy May tried to sort the Brexit out

Down came the MPs and cast over it much doubt

Out came the Press and tried to point the blame

But the Incy Wincy May tried to pass the bill again


Although I’m not a big fan of Mrs May, I do feel sorry for her. I think she has the worst job in the world at the minute and it’s something I wouldn’t want to do; she has been left with a real shit-show to sort out no thanks to that out of touch bimbo David Cameron.

My advice to her would be this:

Stick two fingers up at parliament and tell the vultures in the shadows that if they think they can do a better job they should bloody well do it, then go and get away from it all by escaping to some sunny beach for a few months before they change the colour of the passports.

And my advice to Incy Wincy? Climb up the outside of the water spout you moron…