They say that a bad day [insert your favourite pastime here] is still better than a good day at the office. I believe every word of this. I had a pretty dismal bouldering session today, coming in at about a 5 on the enjoyment scale, but it still managed to beat work’s score of ~0.5 (FYI: this scale goes to 11).
I love bouldering but today my heart just wasn’t in it. Never mind, at least I got a bit of exercise done.
Below is a poem about climbing and the problems it can throw up. If you climb yourself you might relate to a few of these things!
Time to Climb – a poem by Liam Overend
Whenever I want a bit of me time
I head to the wall and go for a climb
Grab me some chalk and lace up my boots
Have a look round and check out the routes
Reminded of challenges I tackled last week
I pass them all by, it’s new problems I seek
That one’s too easy and that one’s obscene
I won’t even bother with the pinks or the greens
But here’s one I fancy, look at those jugs!
And there’s a good hold for my hands to hug
But how do I start? Not a lot to grip there
The tiniest of crimps and the rest is all bare
I get myself on and eye up the wall
That’s quite a reach, I wish I was tall!
I reach the conclusion, only one way to go
I get myself psyched – it’s time to dyno
One… two… three… oh hang on
I doubted myself, my momentum is gone
Let’s try again, and this time commit!
Three-two-one and just go for it!
I leap through the air, I reach out my hands…
I miss the hold and instead I crash land
Ego a bit bruised but some saving grace
At least I didn’t land on my face
I stand up and get back on the wall
This time I’ll do it, this time I won’t fall
I leap once again and make the move stick
Removing all doubt, that was the trick
Planting my feet and opting to smear
The next hold is good and thankfully near
Now where do I go? Is it off to the right?
I look for my next available white
Nearing the top, can I use the arete?
At this stage I’ll take any help I can get
I make the last move, I go for the grip
And at the very last moment my fingers just slip
I fall once again and utter a curse
This time I land, a little bit worse
But nothing too bad, just a small graze
I’m sure it’ll be fine in a couple of days
I think this one’s got the better of me
I shouldn’t be surprised, it is a 6-C
Now is probably the right time for a snack
I’m going to indulge in a piece of flapjack
How about you? Do you climb? Any bouldering stories that don’t end so well? If you do, share them in the comments starting with ‘I went for a move and the next thing I knew…’
Thanks for reading