They say that a bad day [insert your favourite pastime here] is still better than a good day at the office. I believe every word of this. I had a pretty dismal bouldering session today, coming in at about a 5 on the enjoyment scale, but it still managed to beat work’s score of ~0.5 (FYI: this scale goes to 11).

I love bouldering but today my heart just wasn’t in it. Never mind, at least I got a bit of exercise done.

Below is a poem about climbing and the problems it can throw up. If you climb yourself you might relate to a few of these things!

Time to Climb – a poem by Liam Overend

Whenever I want a bit of me time

I head to the wall and go for a climb

Grab me some chalk and lace up my boots

Have a look round and check out the routes

Reminded of challenges I tackled last week

I pass them all by, it’s new problems I seek

That one’s too easy and that one’s obscene

I won’t even bother with the pinks or the greens

But here’s one I fancy, look at those jugs!

And there’s a good hold for my hands to hug

But how do I start? Not a lot to grip there

The tiniest of crimps and the rest is all bare

I get myself on and eye up the wall

That’s quite a reach, I wish I was tall!

I reach the conclusion, only one way to go

I get myself psyched – it’s time to dyno

One… two… three… oh hang on

I doubted myself, my momentum is gone

Let’s try again, and this time commit!

Three-two-one and just go for it!

I leap through the air, I reach out my hands…

I miss the hold and instead I crash land

Ego a bit bruised but some saving grace

At least I didn’t land on my face

I stand up and get back on the wall

This time I’ll do it, this time I won’t fall

I leap once again and make the move stick

Removing all doubt, that was the trick

Planting my feet and opting to smear

The next hold is good and thankfully near

Now where do I go? Is it off to the right?

I look for my next available white

Nearing the top, can I use the arete?

At this stage I’ll take any help I can get

I make the last move, I go for the grip

And at the very last moment my fingers just slip

I fall once again and utter a curse

This time I land, a little bit worse

But nothing too bad, just a small graze

I’m sure it’ll be fine in a couple of days

I think this one’s got the better of me

I shouldn’t be surprised, it is a 6-C

Now is probably the right time for a snack

I’m going to indulge in a piece of flapjack

 

How about you? Do you climb? Any bouldering stories that don’t end so well? If you do, share them in the comments starting with ‘I went for a move and the next thing I knew…’

Thanks for reading

Liam

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